


For you, the world

by TeelLilies



Series: The Boar and the Shrike [2]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: And Techno is only soft for him, Angst, Betrayal, Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Phil worries too much, Pre-Relationship, Some Fluff, Techno has a lot of emotions, as a treat, let him be, myct, not pog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28658478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeelLilies/pseuds/TeelLilies
Summary: He was done, he was tired. The people of L’manberg had caused him nothing but pain. They had taken advantage of him, betrayed him and scorned him at every opportunity. As if those that worked with him were any better. But they could claim moral superiority all they wanted. If they wanted him to be a monster… he would be a monster.
Relationships: Technoblade/Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: The Boar and the Shrike [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105247
Comments: 37
Kudos: 367





	For you, the world

**Author's Note:**

> Hey just so y'all know, I'm going with Techno on the fact that he said that he was in no way related to Phil, Wilbur or Tommy. So NO Phil is not his dad. 
> 
> Anyways! Here's this. I have a lot of emotions about their 'old friends' dynamic, and the fact that Phil is the only person Techno can really trust. So here's the thing I spent way too long on
> 
> No Betas we die like men

“I should have expected this.” 

“It’s not your fault Techno.” 

Phil’s hands were warm against his skin, fingers fanned out against the back of his shoulder blade as the older man meticulously cleaned the gash down the back of his ribcage. A sword finding its way through the gaps of his armor was never fun. But at least he’d sustained only mild injuries after the festival. Not even enough to slow down his escape. 

It was enough to worry Phil though, and Techno allowed his friend to sit him down in front of the fire. He was silently cursing himself the entire time. How could he have let himself trust Tommy again? The rat bastard had used him once before. He and Wilbur had begged him to help with their revolution… Lied to him about what they planned to do. He’d spent his time, his blood and sweat to single handedly arm a revolution, only for Tommy to turn around and spit in the face of everything Techno believed in. 

“You thought he was on your side.” Phil’s voice was low, calm as the crackling fire as a needle pressed through the top layer of his skin. Techno didn’t flinch, letting his head fall forward slightly as he drew a slow breath. His chest hurt, despite getting out of the fight with only a scratch, something in him ached. 

“I’m just, tired, Phil.” He admitted quietly, his eyes sliding closed as he focused on the feeling of the thread pulling his skin closed. Phil’s movements were practiced, smooth, this wasn’t the first time they’d patched each other up, and it sure as hell wouldn’t be the last. 

Honestly, he was just, glad Phil was safe, safe from L’manberg. Safe from the hell he and Dream were going to rain on the state. 

He was done, he was tired. The people of L’manberg had caused him nothing but pain. They had taken advantage of him, betrayed him and scorned him at every opportunity. As if those that worked with him were any better. But they could claim moral superiority all they wanted. If they wanted him to be a monster… he would be a monster. 

A hand brushed over the back of his neck, sweeping his loose hair out of the way as Phil’s stitches moved up his back.

The sensation was strange. Despite being so close to Phil for so long, the non-hostile contact still felt foreign. He and Phil had always been comfortable, there to lean on each other both literally and figuratively. It should have been normal for them to be close. But it seemed like every other move against him had been violent recently. Techno was so unused to someone not meaning him harm, that it set him on edge, even if it was Phil. 

“You’ve given them a lot Technoblade.” Phil pointed out, tugging a stitch tighter and tying it off at the end to finish off what he was doing. Techno just mustered a faint noise of agreement, not bothering to open his eyes. 

“They should have left you alone when you retired.” He added, checking over the stitches before he shifted back, and Techno listened to him rummaging through the gauze he had on hand. 

“And Tommy shouldn’t have betrayed you.” Phil sighed, he sounded conflicted, hesitation coloring his words before he forged on, lifting Techno’s arms so he could wrap the gauze around his chest. He didn’t react when Techno stiffened at the name. Hair on the back of his neck bristled, and he shoved down the emotions swelling under the surface of his composure. 

Tommy… He didn’t want to think about Tommy. He’d gone above and beyond for the kid, put up with him through everything. He’d even gone out of his way to make sure Tommy had a helmet and enchantments that would alleviate his fear of drowning. Because he’d made the mistake of caring, for some shitty kid. 

He’d trusted Tommy with his fucking axe. Which he was never getting back. That was just the cherry on top. 

“I’m just saying it’s not your fault.” Phil finished quietly, calloused hands smoothing out over the gauze on Techno’s back before he tucked the end in securely. 

Techno just, couldn’t shake the feeling, that he’d done something wrong. That somehow the whole situation was his fault. If he had just… done something different, Tommy wouldn’t have turned on him in a heartbeat. Was that really all he was? Someone to be used until everyone decided that they changed their minds? And then when things settled, he would just be hunted, like an animal. No matter how much he just wanted to be left alone. No matter if he’d tried to commit himself to nonviolence. 

“How many times am I going to fall for it Phil?” He sighed. Phil’s hands remained where they were against his back, before they shifted up, pulling his hair back out of his face. 

“You didn’t fall for anything Techno.” He murmured. His tone was soothing, unlike his usual lighthearted bemusement. And the taller man just relented under his touch, allowing Phil to do whatever he pleased as a fingertip brushed against his face, Phil finally wrangling his curls back behind his ears. 

He didn’t have the energy to protest. He didn’t agree of course. But he didn’t want to fight, not when Phil’s fingers dragged back through his hair and he had exhaustion dragging at his body. He didn’t have energy, emotional or otherwise. The conflict hadn’t taken a lot out of him physically, but he still felt the weight dragging down his limbs as he leaned on his knees. 

After a few moments of silence, and Phil working out the tangles in his hair, the other man spoke up quietly. 

“Can you lean your head back a little?” Techno flicked one eye open, glancing back at Phil with bleary curiosity before he complied. Phil just offered a soft thanks before his eyes dropped to whatever he was doing, and Techno allowed himself to relax. 

As relaxed as he was, leaning back into Phil’s touch, the drag of fingertips against the nape of his neck made him shiver. He didn’t pull away though, admittedly the contact was really nice, unfamiliar. Usually when it came to Phil, they remained solidly platonic. But maybe Phil was feeling especially touchy for the night. That much was… fair. Techno would have likely been far closer to Phil if he could have. 

The sensation of Phil dividing up his hair, and beginning to plait it into a loose braid had him practically melting. A low hum of content rumbled in his throat, and he let himself lean back slightly, trying to chase other thoughts from his head for at least a moment while he enjoyed the closeness. It was intimacy he wasn’t going to get anywhere else. What shame was there in being close to a friend? 

Quiet stretched out between them, until Phil reached the end of the braid, finally realizing he didn’t have a hair tie on him with a small laugh. 

“You’ll have to forgive me for not tying it. But I know you like your hair out of the way.” Phill hummed, twisting the end of Techno’s braid between his fingers. Of course he didn’t mind, Phil didn’t have to braid his hair back after all, it was still really nice of him. So for the moment he just waved a dismissive hand, wondering if he should lean back out of Phil’s space. He’d been pulled back slightly so Phil could work. So with Phil sitting quietly after the fact, watching the fire with his hands in his lap, he wasn’t really sure where to go from there. 

For the moment he just stayed where he was, breathing deeply and taking in the sound of the fire as he tried not to think too much. If he did the clamouring came back, the voices rolled over him in a wave, screaming and thrumming with discontent. It was worse than usual, hard to fight off. And as soon as Phil’s hands were off him, he was out of things to ground himself with. 

He just remained quiet, listening to Phil shift and settle somewhere behind him. Between the cadence of Phil’s breathing, the sound of the fire, and the wind pulling at the house, Techno just did his best to focus on anything but his own head. He needed rest mostly, but after that entire fiasco, he knew he likely wouldn’t be getting any, and ended up trying to allow his mind to wander to what he could do instead. 

But against his will things only grew louder. Violent images flashed through his head. The spray of blood and clatter of teeth against the floor when he put his pick through Quackity’s jaw, the crack of bones under his sword. The time he and Tommy had taken a moment to spar with no punches held. Something in him screamed for the cleaving force of a blade rending through flesh, of something he could sink his claws into. It was all just, a lot. He just wanted to think about what he wanted to do for the night. Turmoil seemed to rule his mind for the moment though, dragging the tension back into his body in a wave. 

A hand touched lightly against the back of his shoulder, followed by the warm, comforting press of Phil’s hand against his skin. Techno only jolted slightly, turning to look back at Phil over his shoulder. 

It was obvious that the other man could tell something was wrong. Phil had always been able to read him, had always known about the voices, about the risk Technoblade took every time he picked up a sword. It sucked, but his life was a tight show of self control. Except for moments like the first festival, things had gotten… out of his own hands. But the one constant was that Phil had  _ always  _ been able to read him like a book. 

“Hey, you’re alright. You did good today.” Phil spoke after a moment, fingers squeezing around Techno’s shoulder. Part of him wanted to relax back into Phil, let the tension ooze out of his body, but he didn’t dare. He just offered a sad smile, unsure of how to reply to that. He would argue otherwise. He’d obviously done something wrong for Tommy to betray him  _ again _ . But phil seemed determined, he had that look in his eyes that he always got when he was going to be stubborn. 

“Well nobody died, so I’ll take it. I guess.” He finally managed, trying to at least appease his friend for the moment. He didn’t have the energy for an actual discussion about it. Phil had too much faith in him for no apparent reason. No matter what the bastard was always there, persistent as the march of time, even when his allegiance to Techno caused him more harm than good. Techno would never understand. Not when Phil was leaning against the edge of his fireplace, after everything that had happened, after being nearly forced to flee the place he considered home. His actions had cost everything for Phil, and yet, there he was. Acting like it was just another day. 

There was still sand on the knees of his pants from the farming he had done earlier. He looked tired but somewhat content. The worry that clung to the corners of his eyes and the slight downturn of his lips would only be obvious to someone who knew him well. 

“You’re worried.” Techno finally spoke up, twisting around to face Phil more. Bright blue eyes fell to focus on him instead of where Phil had been watching the low light of the fire. He seemed to think for a moment, looking Techno over as he did so. 

“You know I worry, always have.” He sighed eventually. Part of the content seemed to drain from his face. It was all wearing on Phil too, that much was obvious. And it hurt for him to see, but Techno couldn’t just back down from something he’d agreed to do. That and after everything? After what he’d been put through? And what Phil had been put through? He wasn’t going down without taking a few people with him. It was just… a lot. And he understood Phil’s want for things to finally even out. 

“Can you make me a promise Techno?” Phil spoke after he watched the guilt creep across Techno’s face. It was hard to repress when he was so exhausted after all. 

“Anything for you, Phil.” Techno spoke before he could stop himself. It was true. Out of all of the people he had met in his life. Phil would always be the first person he would jump in front of a firework for. A promise was nothing compared to that, and the serious turn of the conversation had him turning fully. His knee bumped against Phil’s as the other man reclined slightly more against the edge of the fireplace, eyeing him quietly. 

“When this is done, when people aren’t… Hunting you, any more-” He paused, glancing away and drawing a slow breath. 

“- Let’s just, get out of here yea? As far away as we can.” Those blue eyes locked on him again, and Techno felt himself practically melt under Phil’s gaze. 

It was such a simple request, but something about it drove a stake through his gut. Phil had always had faith in the state, he had always believed that in the end it was where he belonged. And there he was, asking to just, get away, to start anew. Techno couldn’t say no to him, not to Phil. And a long moment after the quiet stretched between them, he ended up reaching out without even thinking. 

Phil offered no resistance when Techno gingerly scooped his hands up in his own, giving both of Phil’s hands a light squeeze and running his thumbs over the other man’s knuckles. 

“Of course, just say the word and I’ll leave with you. We can find somewhere better.” He spoke quietly, and goddamn if he didn’t mean it. If Phil had come to him before L’manberg’s peacekeepers had showed up at his door, and simply asked if they could pack up and go, he would have left in an instant. When it came to Phil, it was never a question. It had been like that for as long as he remember. 

His companion looked different in the firelight. The warm flickers caught across the high points of his face, but they only served to deepen his dark circles. And his small smile didn’t seem to reach his eyes even as he squeezed Techno’s hands back. At the end of the day he knew why it would be hard for Phil to leave. His son’s grave was still there, Tommy had betrayed them both in a way. It somehow hurt him to know that Phil had lost that much faith. But if it was what Phil wanted, he would do it in a heartbeat. 

“Alright.” Phil nodded again, as if he was trying to reassure himself of something. Somehow Techno had a feeling he wasn’t talking about it. He didn’t want to pry, but with everything going on, with the world crashing down around them, he felt like he should at least ask. 

“That’s not what you’re worried about though is it?” He asked, trying to get Phil to meet his eyes again. He ended up edging slightly closer on the hearth, their legs bumping into each other more as he finally caught Phil’s gaze. God he hoped Phil trusted him the same way he trusted Phil.

“I worry about you Techno.” Phil sighed, looking down at their hands as he turned their hands over, warm hands closing around Techno’s cold fingers. 

“I know you can fend for yourself but what if it’s a ruse?” He asked, frown dragging his features into a scowl. 

“What if he’s just going to get you on his side and then lock you up. I mean the prison-” Techno cut him off with a sharp look, moving without thinking to pull Phil’s hands up against his own chest. Phil sounded angry, worried, upset. It was something Techno had thought through, of course, he just didn’t want the other man to worry about him. 

“Phil listen to me.” He relaxed when Phil looked up to him again. “He doesn’t know my full hand, and even if he did, that green bastard has nothing on me.” He offered up a wolfish grin, getting a weak reciprocation from Phil. 

“These people had to sic their best warriors on me, strip me of my armor, and threaten my horse to get me anywhere. And even then they failed to execute me because they’re fucking idiots.” He exhaled a long sigh. That had been a particularly shitty night. But he’d made it home in one piece. And what was more, he’d made sure Phil got the hell out of L’manberg in one piece. 

“Whether or not Dream betrays me, those fuckers are going to die scared and alone.” A snarl edged on his words, pulled out by thoughts of hunting the remaining politicians through the rubble of L’manberg. But before the voices could roll over him in a tidal wave and trap him in his thoughts, a hand rested against the side of his face. 

“I know Techno, I should have more faith in you.” Phil sighed, not seeming to notice how the hand on Techno’s face made him nearly freeze. It was so unfamiliar, Phil’s thumb resting against one of the scars that shredded down the side of his face. 

“Besides, even if they lock me up, I know you’ve got my back.” His fanged smile returned as Phil mustered a soft laugh, shaking his head. 

“You haven’t stirred up any chaos in a long time old man, I’m starting to think you’ve had a change of heart.” He pointed out. There had been a time when Phil was almost as chaotic as he could be, if not more so. Those days had been some of the best. An empire all their own, Phil at his side, endless expanses of empty territory all their own. 

“Never, don’t insult me like that.” Phil scoffed, rolling his eyes. It was nice to see the humor return to his face though, and Techno found himself relaxing at that sight alone. He hated seeing Phil tense, it was so unlike him. 

He missed the days of long highways, echoing halls, and the sound of Phil’s laughter flittering across the vast spaces between them. Their little empire they’d built all their own. Had they been messed with? Of course, but together they could tackle anything. This whole thing was just, way too different. He wasn’t going to risk Phil’s life if he didn’t have to. 

For the moment though, past Techno’s faint scoff, the conversation seemed to be over for the time being. He felt odd just keeping so close to Phil, but before he had a chance to, the other man shifted first. 

The hand that had been on his face, dropped down to his shoulder, before Phil was tugging on him. Both by his hand and shoulder, and without a second thought, Techno relented. He allowed himself to be pulled in until it registered that he was pulled right into the crook of Phil’s neck.

He’d hugged Phil before of course. But it was always brief, fleeting moments of contact born from celebration or close moments. 

This was different, Phil’s arm draped across his shoulders and his cheek pressed against his companion’s collarbone, and he couldn’t resist the urge to go nearly slack in Phil’s arms. He found himself adjusting for comfort. A few small twists and he was relaxing between Phil’s legs, arms wrapped tightly around Phil’s midsection, head resting where he could hear Phil’s heartbeat. 

It was sudden, incredibly sudden. But he wasn’t in any kind of mood to protest. Not when Phil had one arm draped around him, and one hand running over his hair. Techno could feel the slide of strands between Phil’s dexterous fingers, and couldn’t help but relax, eyes falling shut. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so close to anyone. And honestly? It was… Way nicer than he would have liked. While he was too afraid to ask what had gotten into Phil, he knew that it had to be something, because Phil didn’t seem intent on breaking up the moment either. When Techno glanced up at him he had just returned to watching the fire, a few stray pieces of hair falling across his face. For a few moments he just watched, appreciating the sight, before he turned his own eyes on the fire, letting himself rest. For once, maybe he could let himself feel safe. For a little while. If anyone could have his back it was Phil, there were two netherite swords within arm’s reach. He was comfortable, and drowsy, and for once felt secure. 

After a while he started to even drift almost. His form dwarfed Phil’s by quite a bit, but the smaller man was deceptively strong, and didn’t bat an eyelash under Techno’s weight as the larger man relaxed fully. His eyes slid closed and his breathing eased out into an unfamiliar calm. Not entirely sleep of course, he was still incredibly aware of the fingers in his hair. And eventually, he was aware of the soft press of lips gracing the top of his head. Phil’s hand stilled against him, fingers curling into his hair for a moment to just, hold him close. 

Did Phil think he was asleep? Maybe. He’d relaxed pretty completely after all. He decided not to ask, simply staying still as Phil held him tightly. Like he was afraid to let go. 

“Don’t let me lose you Technoblade… Not you too.” He finally breathed, smoothing his hand over Techno’s hair. 

The soft warble of tears was evident in Phil’s voice, and it made Techno’s chest hurt. He hated when Phil got upset. He hadn’t really seen it until Phil had to deal with his own son. But he still hated it. And couldn’t put up with it even then.

He shifted slightly, arms curling even tighter around Phil as he turned his head more against Phil’s collar. Phil’s skin was warm against his cheek, a reassurance that he was alright too. 

“‘M not going anywhere Phil, don’t lose faith in me like that.” He mumbled, drowsy still as Phil gave him another squeeze. He knew why Phil was worried, but didn’t want to dwell on it, it would only worry Phil more. For the moment he just let himself be content with the small nod against the top of his head, and the feeling of fingertips tracing lightly down his jawline before he was enveloped properly in Phil’s hold. 

“I shouldn’t, I know.” Phil sighed. Techno could tell the other man didn’t entirely believe what he was saying. Phil worried, he always had, even back when they were just beginning to consider themselves friends, Phil worried for those close to him. Techno just hoped he wouldn’t have to worry for much longer.

**Author's Note:**

> I thrive on comments I'm not even gonna lie to y'all, but there will be more of this hot garbage in the future either way.


End file.
